Over the weekend my good friend Romeo (who I hadn't spoken to in ages) was on the phone with me. He casually mentioned that he was supporting the war, and I just flew off the handle, ranting about Iraqi blood fueling his Honda CRV. Romeo calmly told me that he didn't want to argue about this now, and that, changing the subject, he wanted to see more pictures on my blog.
I felt a little bad. But then I responded with this, obviously to goad him further.
So the other day, he wrote me this letter (some things snipped as per his request):
I meant pictures of you and your family, hindi ng guerra. Cool ka lang. I hear na sobra kang involved sa mga rally at napagbubuhusan mo ng oras ito. Kudos sa iyo and that you are passionate about what you stand for. Ako may stance, pero hindi masyadong passionate, so do not expect a big debate from me.Later on he added that he thought that something or someone had "possessed" me, and that he was "scared" by the way my mind was going.I wouldn't let this war be the reason na mag-away tayo. But for some reason your zealous streak tells me na ang dali dali mong gawin ito. Scary.
Kung merong taong may alam how I am just dragging my feet day to day to get some semblance of happiness and try to survive and not end up in the streets, then maybe you'd think twice bago ilagay sa konsyensya ko at ng kotse ko ang guerra. And if I could get technical about it, I wouldn't be surprised if mas matipid ang kotse ko sa gas kaysa sa Volvo mo. Bark on the huge Fords, Chevy's and Jeeps. It's a Honda, Benito!
...
I was with Happy and Clarissa over the week-end and ang saya. Napabalik tuloy ako ng extra day and stayed with them. Had a warm cooked meal, dessert, lots of coffee and a lot of laughs.
Ganiyan lang ang kaligayahan ko -- being around good friends like you guys. Walang stability ang buhay ko para gawing sentro ng buhay ko ngayon ang guerra.
...
Pasensiya ka na if there is some bite to this note pero nagulat lang ako talaga sa sermon mo sa akin sa phone plus that Bush picture sa blog mo. I am sure kung mas mahinahon mong ibigay sa akin ang iyong panig eh you will be able to sway me, as usual. Iba lang talaga ang dating mo.
I hate Bush's guts, FYI.
Sige. Ingat.
Well, maybe I'm the one who's scared. I'm scared of the terrorist reprisals that the CIA has already warned about, that the Bush administration is practically begging for. I'm scared that I won't be able to protect my family when the next terrorist attack comes about. I'm scared that my rights as an immigrant of the Philippines -- yes, one of those al-Qaeda-associated countries -- will be curtailed.
And maybe I'm furious and frustrated that people -- not Romeo personally -- can support killing anyone, or allowing American soldiers to be killed, to secure access to oil. I'm angry that people seem to think that that's fine. I'm mad that people still can't seem to see through the lies and disinformation that Bush and the media have been feeding the American public, and that people are still standing behind their president just because he's the president. I'm pissed that all you see on TV are retired generals and snazzy computer maps and light shows over Baghdad, and not the human costs of war. I'm fuming that the U.S. government can easily flout international law and think that they can get away with it, much as they've been getting away with it for the last two centuries or so. I'm enraged that people don't see that the U.S. economy is going to hell and that they're not questioning why they may be about to lose their jobs or have their mortgages foreclosed while a few billion dollars are spent every month on this unjust war.
Yes, I have to worry about my job and my work and my family too, as do everyone else. And yes, they are my priorities too. But so is fighting against this war, and all I've really done so far is post on my blog, speak at anti-war rallies (once), and rant and rave in front of my students.
But Romeo was also right.
I was totally out of line to jump on him like that; it was certainly not the right way to try to convince him of anything, for starters. I didn't even ask him why he supported the war -- maybe I don't really want to know -- and I just forged on and attacked him personally. No, I did not know how he was doing, or what he had to do in order to simply survive and not get fired; I wasn't interested, and I was wrong. And, as he put it, he hated Bush's guts after all.
No, I didn't attack him for not making the war the center of his life, but for supporting it. But jumping down his throat was not right, and I apologize for that.
Hopefully later on we can still talk civilly about this.
Posted by the wily filipino at March 27, 2003 09:33 AM