Barb promises me a dirty joke and fails to deliver.
So cheer me up: the person who sends me the best dirty joke, in English or Tagalog -- I'm not offering any criteria -- in the next few days will get to make a request for an mp3 download. I can't promise to upload the specific song, so you can ask for a particular theme / artist / genre / whatever. Only three entries maximum per person, now.
And please, no old ones: no "Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day," no "Death by Ubanga," no "Nag-sesecond-thought ho," no "Sure, just don't slap me that hard," no "Anong akala mo sa akin? Alkansiya?," no "Licklola."
Posted by the wily filipino at August 27, 2004 11:33 AMahem, so ...
A priest, a rabbi, and a baptist minister are on a cruise ship. All of a sudden it hits a rock and starts going down like the Titanic. The baptist ministers screams "Oh Lord, what do we do?! We must first save the children!"
The rabbi looks at him and yells "Are you kidding? Fuck the children!"
The priest turns around and says "You guys think we have time for that now?"
Posted by: barb on August 27, 2004 11:47 AMI don't know you personally, but I enjoy your thoughts and music tastes so I figured I'd join in with a few ay nako-inducing jokes:
A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
I was trying to call you yesterday for this one. It sounds better than it reads:
Young Female Employee at Pegasus Hydromassage: Ser!
Sir: Kamusta?
Employee: (beaming eyes) Ser, anong gusto nyo Ser, sop o moderayt?
Sir: (excited but confused) Ano yung soft or moderate?
Employee: Ser, sop-sopin ko ba muna o moderetsyo na lang?
These jokes are pretty bad. Here's one that's just as bad -- and though I'm writing most of it in English, it's a Bisaya joke (I heard it in north Mindanao). Works better if you say it out loud.
A teenage girl (Bisaya of course) is walking down the road and meets an Amerikano.
Amerikano: Hi, young lady!
Girl: Hayang? OK.
Amerikano: Wha' happened?
Girl: Aa, wai hapin-hapin!
definitions:
*hayang-- think of the position a baby is in when you change their diaper.
*hapin-- sheet or blanket [in this case, to lie down on]
*"wai hapin-hapin"-- "we don't need no stinkin' blankets"
hope you're feeling better, Wile E. Pinoy