The Wily Filipino

Annual Report.

Today my father gave me a copy of his (late) annual Xmas letter to copy-edit. This one was entitled with the cutesy "Annual Report to the Board of Trustees" of my family. Unfortunately, it was just as dull as what an annual report would read like.

This is actually no fault of my parents' lives after retirement; it's probably more of a function of my dad's scientific writing, filled with descriptions of seedling heights and leaf widths. My parents are, in fact, busier than ever, and they both travel all around Asia frequently. But the letter was simply a colorless monthly "we-did-this" and "we-did-that" type of litany, so, pen in hand, I went to work.

1.0 was the proofread, original version.

2.0 was the version with stylistic comments, mostly filled with suggestions regarding the addition of actual adjectives; we students of anthropology like that sort of stuff anyhow. (Actually, my dad sat at the computer for over half an hour and filled in the details.)

3.0, which I started on a lark, was a bruisingly honest report, filled with embarrassing disclosures and details regarding various fuckups. That was kind of funny, actually; the last entry began with "December treated us to the semi-annual spectacle of grown adults, suddenly under the same roof as their parents, regressing to the emotional level of a twelve-year old."

4.0 was the one spun from thin air (or whole cloth, or whatever the American idiomatic expression is); it had entries like:

April: Thank Christ I found my crack pipe; I was worried one of my damn students had run off with it again.

December: The orange handcuffs we got Dad were a smash hit; we made sure it was color-coordinated with his jumpsuit!

I still can't decide whether 2005 was a good year for me or not; I guess it means it probably wasn't. But no: this year Izzy grew into a exceedingly sweet, smart, wisecracking, beautiful girl, who can do a perfect little ballet knee bend, sing in "Japanese," and score a goal in soccer. I also spent a lot more quality time (both off and online) with my friends (some old, some new), for whom I will always be grateful. I suppose, in the end, 2005 wasn't so bad; after all, it's the many little moments of happiness that count.

Posted by the wily filipino at January 1, 2006 12:50 AM