August 18, 2006
SoaP.
Your flight crew would like to make the following ten helpful suggestions and observations for your maximum enjoyment of Snakes on a Plane:
1. Take the rowdiest crowd -- one who would line up at least 100-people deep an hour before the film begins -- and fill the theater with it.
2. Bring rubber snakes. Toss them into the air whenever someone dies a grisly death or does something heroic. (It was literally raining snakes at the Metreon earlier this evening.)
3. Have the crowd be drunk.
4. Consuming two or three pints yourself doesn't hurt either.
5. Cheer and hoot whenever Samuel L. Jackson says something vaguely tough / funny / menacing. (Actually, cheer when the previews begin, cheer when the movie itself begins, cheer when you see the first shot of Honolulu International Airport, and cheer when you see the plane take off. That'll get you all excited.)
6. A closeup of pus oozing from a snakebite wound provokes much cringing and laughing.
7. So does a snake crawling up a woman's skirt.
8. And a guy having his penis bitten by a snake.
9. Hiss loudly whenever it's quiet or one of the characters on screen goes somewhere they shouldn't.
10. Yell "Snakes!" whenever it's semantically appropriate.
I don't think I've ever emerged from a movie hoarse before. Two words, folks: see it.
Posted by the wily filipino at August 18, 2006 01:41 AMdon't forget the snake fangs in the bare breasted woman's nipple. i am cringing as i type this.
i am still cringing.
OK i admit it was harsh for me to text you "worst movie ever!" last nite. glad you had fun. the film reel in the theatre we were at last nite suffered some human error and so we didn't get to see the last 20 minutes or so of the film.
been a long time since i've seen a critter infestation movie but i'll say this much: it was much more than i expected, and samuel jackson deserves some serious kudos for being really the only good actor in it!
Posted by: bjr on August 18, 2006 10:44 AMWhat made it work was the combination of lowered expectations plus internet-fueled excitement. I think most everyone knew the movie would be bad, and they were more or less correct. It has a very short freshness date, and I can't see it having much of a shelf life on DVD either, so folks [revising my original recommendation here]... see it as soon as you can, preferably with the optimal conditions described above.
So wait Barb -- you never got to see the ending??? (Though it really does peak with the oxygen mask scene I think.)
Posted by: the wily filipino on August 18, 2006 11:14 AMnope didn't see the end at all, but am sure i will still be able to live a full and happy life despite not seeing then ending!
Posted by: bjr on August 18, 2006 03:40 PMDid you at least get your money back?? Were people yelling, "Troy! Troy! Troy!"?
On a side note: in the now-famous scene when Samuel L. Jackson gets to say "I have had it with these etc. etc.", you couldn't even hear what he was saying because the entire theater was yelling it as well. What a crowd.
Posted by: the wily filipino on August 18, 2006 08:59 PMI wish I had that crowd. That's what I get for watching it in the suburbs. A guy next to my brother actually shushed him, "saying I'm trying to watch the movie. I can't hear what's going on." um, yeah. What's there to know? There are snakes, there's a plane. The ending is but of course, cheesy, but throws one last punch in for thrills. When it ended I'm thinking, this'll make a great drinking game!
Posted by: Gura on August 20, 2006 08:53 PM