The Wily Filipino

More Words from Antwi Akom.

Received this from Antwi on Saturday morning -- it's being circulated all over the place anyway, so here it is in full:

Greetings Everyone,

I am up. Awake. Meditated. Eating right. Exercised. Disciplined.
Dedicated. Committed. Focused. Alert. Conscious. Ready.

Every morning. Every Evening. Every Afternoon. Every minute of the day starts and ends with thanking all of you for all of your support. Every morning. Every Evening. Every Afternoon. Every minute of the day starts and ends with a prayer for those less fortunate than me left behind bars. I am blessed. We are blessed.

SO GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!!!

I am wide awake!!!

I wanted to wish all of you a good morning and hope that the glorious rays of the sun greet you as you rise....along with the quote of the day:

So here it is...the quote of the day sent from one of my Grad student friends (rida/soldier for truth) at U.C. Santa Barbara who stands in solidarity with all of us....

"In order for the oppressed to be able to wage the struggle for their liberation, they must perceive the reality of oppression not as a closed world from which there is no exit, but as a limiting situation which they can transform" (Paulo Freire 1970).

So time to get to work.

Get organized/Stay unified (That's the theme for today in my mind)

Questions I'd like to have answered (I'm sure you all have questions you'd like to have answered as well):

1. Why did neither the security guard or police officers ask to see my faculty i.d.?
2. Why weren't other people approached and asked to put their hands behind their backs? Why only me?
3. For the administration (What do you think Racial Profiling looks like in the 21st century?) Clue: Do you think it has something to do with following/and harassing people of color?
4. Why was I arrested? On what grounds? What crime did I commit? Is it a crime to go to your office? To go to work to serve your students and community? My children would love to know that answer to this question.
5. Why wasn't anything done last year? In other words, why wasn't a policy put in place when I reported racial antagonism and racial profiling on the part of the SFSU PD to our Dean (who forwarded the message to the Police Chief last year)? Why did no one address our concerns?
6. Why can't I (and perhaps other faculty and students of color, and perhaps other faculty and students period) feel safe in their own offices or on their own campus? Why isn't the administration supporting the creation of a safe work/campus environment? Shouldn't the police and professors/students/staff/administration be working together not against one another to create a safe work environment?
7. Why haven't all the charges been dropped? Why hasn't the University written a letter to the District Attorney's office asking for the charges to be dropped immediately?

Truth be told, this situation has already taken something from me that can never be replaced. That is, I as a Black male have gone for over 35 years with my name and finger prints out of the criminal justice system (That is close to impossible to do in our Apartheid like system). When the police at the SFPD saw how clean my record was they were shocked. They couldn't believe that I was never in the system. I have lost my innocence (Both physically and metaphorically). Now I am forever in the Matrix. My name and finger prints are in the criminal justice system all across American and the World.


I greet the day with this knowledge. I also greet the day knowing that there is an exit. There is a way to transform!

Holla if you hear me...

In solidarity,

Brotha Akom

More on the Racial Profiling Incident.

Lots of e-mail messages going around (my colleague Matthew Shenoda tells me it's nationwide now), but I will instead post some excerpts from messages from Antwi Akom himself, on "evidence of a pattern of racial antagonism, criminalization, normalization of racial profiling that can no longer be tolerated." (To be strip-searched, forced to wear the orange jumpsuit, his hands and feet chained and shackled, and placed into the violent offender ward -- "a jail cell covered with piss and shit with 11 other men who had to use toilet paper as a pillow" -- it boggles the mind.)

I am up at 4:00am. I cannot sleep. Because I am deeply disturbed by the institutional racism that is plaguing our campus, communities, and country.

...

This is straight fuckin' harassment that must be collectively resisted before the campus police seriously injure or kill one of us for simply working in our own offices. We do not live in a police state.

Or do we?

...

I cannot sleep. Those less fortunate than me are still in jail. I cannot sleep. This is so much bigger than me. Institutional racism is straight destroying our youth, our communities, our future. ... The pain and suffering that I witnessed has shaken me to my core. I am a changed person.

And I cannot sleep the same again. I am wide awake.

I thank you all for your support.

But I want to remind everyone:

"This could have happened to any of us...and every day it happens to many of us...."

On behalf of the College of Ethnic Studies, the Dean formally delivered the college's request to SFSU President Robert Corrigan to have the charges dropped -- in essence, asking Corrigan to "encourage" the District Attorney to do so.

Later this afternoon, a memo from Corrigan was released, referring to, with characteristic -- ah, what's a good word -- caution, "a suspension of judgment until a full, clear picture emerges and rumors can be replaced by facts" and stating that he "will take no further action until their review is completed." The said review will be conducted by a two-person team -- former City Attorney Louise Renne and former SF mayor Willie Brown.

Meanwhile, a link to a .pdf file from the ACLU (provided everyone by my colleague Andrew Jolivette) on a racial profiling report, produced by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, that was buried by the DoJ.

So Whatcha Whatcha Whatcha Want?

Found on Ktrion's blog (finally met her the other day) -- Google your name, plus the word "needs," so in order of Google appearance:

1. Benito needs a varsity girls track and field head coach.
2. Benito needs more HUGS!
3. Benito needs to pull his head out of his Bush.
4. Benito needs to stay hot for SF to win.
5. Benito needs a boa constrictor.
6. Benito needs to fill this position immediately.
7. Benito needs another trip to 1987.
8. Benito needs an additional $840 of monthly disability income insurance coverage.
9. Benito needs to be kept in a controlled environment in Nashville.
10. Benito needs to do this... and you must let him.
11. Benito needs a serious bath.
12. Benito needs a place in the funny pages of a major newspaper.

I'm not tagging anyone -- but the V-Monster really really needs to google "Veronica needs."

Angry.

I wasn't planning on writing about this just yet, but now that the news has been more widely circulated: here's the SF State's Golden Gate [X]Press's story on my colleague Antwi Akom's arrest.

You can, I'm sure, imagine the anger and frustration we're all feeling here. At the College of Ethnic Studies meeting described in the article, it was mentioned that (and I'm operating on hearsay here, so I'm being careful) that the police did not ask Antwi for identification. Had the police done so (I'm guessing), and had they at least looked up while they threw Antwi to the ground and handcuffed him, they would have at least seen the name on the door of the office from which he came out: Dr. Antwi Akom.

Many faculty members thought to themselves -- as did I -- that could have been me. But at the meeting, one student spoke up and said that if it had happened to a student (and not a professor), the meeting probably wouldn't be taking place. Ashamed, I -- and so did some faculty members, I'm sure -- didn't completely disagree.

I'll post more details as they're made more public; things are zipping around, at least internally on campus, via e-mail, but the very real legal ramifications require me to be more circumspect and opaque about this. One thing, at the very least, is clear, though: all charges must be dropped.

A Sudden Realization while Tipsy, Or, Words of Advice to Folks Seeking to Perfect Certain Skills.

It's all about torque and enjambment.

On Beauty.

There's a long blog conversation on beauty going on in cyberspace, and I'd thought I'd jump in with what little I know (precisely because it has little to do with gender and "ethnic"/national notions of beauty, but more on the pageants themselves).

Too long to quote here are two brilliant high-wire ethnographic accounts of gay beauty pageants and balls in Fenella Cannell's Power and Intimacy in the Christian Philippines (Cambridge University Press, 1999) and Martin Manalansan's Global Divas: Filipino Gay Men in the Diaspora (Duke University Press, 2003). (The latter also has an exhaustive discussion of "byuti.")

I'll just cite a couple of passages, pulled somewhat out of context (since they're talking about two different places), from a couple of recent books:

The first, from Mark Johnson's Beauty and Power: Transgendering and Cultural Transformation in the Southern Philippines (Berg, 1997).

...the forms and idioms of beauty that are circulated... are informed by a Western image of glamour and beauty... ...gay beauty contests have a familiar resonance about them, from the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Madonna, to the 'ethnic/national' costumes which faithfully reproduce familiar stereotypes (53).

...

...beauty contests are filled with instances of stylistic and verbal discourse which are clearly embedded in colonial ministrations. Beauty is about education and the mastery of the English language. Beauty is about good citizenship and a professional orientation (54).

And from Rick Bonus's Locating Filipino Americans: Ethnicity and the Cultural Politics of Space (Temple University Press, 2000).

Filipino Americans find in these pageants social spaces that reflect their tenuous positions as Filipinos who, in their eyes, are not fully American (by virtue of their first-generation immigrant status) and not fully Filipino anymore either (owing to their departure and distance from the homeland). The orientation to the bayan, both in the context of activities in the United States and in reference to the homeland, is one anchor they hold onto to mitigate these tensions (122).

And I'll end, out of chronological order, with a recounting of Philippine News' "Quest for Magandang Filipina - USA" beauty contest in 1979. This was, somewhat sadly, a replacement for an Outstanding Youth Contest which was cancelled for lack of response. "In place of it," they wrote, "we are announcing the start of a new contest which according to our survey is the kind of contest you want us to run."

Open to any permanent resident of "Filipino or Filipino-American descent (irrespective of blood ratio)" -- an interesting throwback to the days when "Filipino American" exclusively referred to people of mixed racial heritage -- the Quest for Magandang Filipina - USA was launched. Regional finals in eleven different cities culminated, after much front-page hype, in the crowning of Yvonne Flores from Suisun City, California after her "stirring vocal rendition of George Benson's 'The Greatest Love of All.'"

[I suspect some of you might be amused by the pageant's details. Sponsored by the Fil-Am Veterans and Federal Retired Association of Fairfield, California, Flores defeated, among others, first runner-up Lisa Manibog (who could have only been related to Monty, probably the first Filipino American mayor ever) from Monterey Park (who performed a "very symbolic American-Indian ritualistic dance"), Theresa Abueg (who "played 'The Entertainer' on her flute"), Jacqueline Guerrero (who danced "a jazz-ballet interpretation of Gary Wright's 'Dream Weaver'") and Rose Tibayan (for "a Malayan dance interpretation on disco roller skates"). [From Aljovin, Andrea. "Yvonne Picked as Magandang Filipina in Dazzling Grand Finals." Philippine News December 1-7 1979: 1, 12.]

I just had to write that again: "Malayan dance interpretation on disco roller skates."]

(What Philippine News de-emphasized, however, was that contestants had to buy 35 subscriptions each to enter the pageant, which earned the nice sum of $56,000 for the newspaper altogether.)

Sudden digression into historical context: 1979 was a crucial period in Philippine News's history -- a time, for instance, when one of their regular columnists, Steve Psinakis, would coyly allude to participation in the Light-A-Fire Movement. It was also a time when -- seven long years after the declaration of Martial Law, but still four years away from Ninoy Aquino bleeding to death on that airport tarmac -- the anti-Marcos opposition in the United States was riven (perhaps they always were) by ideological conflicts. This was also a period when the Movement for a Free Philippines-affiliated Philippine News was consistently red-baiting the Katipunan ng Demokratikong Pilipino, headquartered on the other side of the San Francisco Bay Bridge; the sniping between PN and Ang Katipunan reached its height this year.

Rather predictably, AK went straight to the politics of the contest, describing it as "a strange blend of fashion show, talent contest, an anti-KDP lecture, and slideshow all rolled into one." In an unsigned editorial, the KDP pointed out how such pageants promote sexism, calling the swimsuit contest "downright disgusting:"

The pageant's sponsor, Philippine News... [claims] that the contest was meant to promote Philippine heritage and unity. Anyone... however would surely agree that there was neither a performance nor presentation... which vaguely resembled Philippine culture or heritage.

...

No, the Magandang Filipina pageant was not an innocent competition, a meeting of the community's "best and beautiful." Rather it was a masked business venture which [sic] exploited the contestants and sections of the community.

...

...Like grand terno balls, cocktail parties and other expensive forms of social activities, the beauty contest diverts our attention from more pressing concerns. ...if we expended the same amount of money, energy and time on a fund raiser for some community cause or for the political refugee problem... we could justifiably claim that our efforts were progressive, positive and productive. A beauty contest can hardly claim the same. [From "Beauty Contests: An Exercise in Irrelevance." Ang Katipunan, December 1-15, 1979: 3.]

Paradoxically, the Philippine News would probably also agree with the above statement; back in those days, the newspaper constantly trod a fine line between the two images of heroism (as part of the self-proclaimed oppositional vanguard against the Marcos regime) and profligacy (look no further if you wanted pages and pages of pictures of couples in their tacky finery). (I argue anyhow that the newspaper was beset by contradictory impulses: to consistently demonstrate immigrant success, and to strive for political awareness by highlighting the community's marginality.)

But back to the pageants then and now -- rather than taking one side or the other, I would propose a more nuanced middle ground: one that recognized the problematic gender politics inherent in such spectacles (that reproduced colonial aesthetics and ways of seeing) but simultaneously understanding the temporary cohesive social function (and a "necessary" evocation of an arguably reified Filipino tradition) that the pageants afforded an alienated Filipino American community.

Last digression: beauty pageants in Manila are a different story, however. Gloria Diaz and Margie Moran's Miss Universe victories in 1969 and 1973 lent an odd veneer of legitimacy to Imelda Marcos' increasingly glittery and warped aesthetic project; only two years after Martial Law, Manila would host the 1974 contest in the newly-constructed (supposedly in 77 days!) Folk Arts Theater, with the crown going to Amparo Munoz, hailing from the Philippines' old colonial master, Spain.

Okay, I really will end this rambling post with an anecdote about Imelda (shades of white picket fences around squatter areas!), serving to remind us that her "truth and beauty" campaign wasn't merely conducted on an individual level, but aimed as well at the urban landscape of "the City of Man:"

Workers, up day and night in an effort to finish the interior and grounds of the Philippine International Convention Center, were forced to cut corners in order to finish the job [in time for the IMF/World Bank conference in 1976]. One patch of brownish grass was even sprayed with green pain to freshen it up. But the entire conference was nearly ruined because of one stubborn bulldozer. It had become hopelessly stuck the night before the grand opening in the thick mud surrounding the PICC. ...workers frantically tried to remove it only to see it sink more deeply into the muck. When Imelda arrived on the scene, she was predictably outraged. But... she, with a little help from the toiling workers, remedied the problem in time. Full-grown coconut palms were rushed to the site and planted in concentric rows around the offending bulldozer. The visitors never knew that the instant coconut grove was not part of the original landscape plan.... [From Victoria Luna, "Another Extravaganza In The Making," Ang Katipunan, May 16-31, 1979, p. 5.]

Lame!

There was a time when I knew Daly City, the adobo capital of the United States, like the back of my hand. Apparently not. I had every intention to go to Bindlestiff's production of "Alamat," excerpts from which I'd seen last week, so I was looking forward to seeing the whole thing.

Confident of my DC abilities, I briefly checked Yahoo Maps just as I was about to leave and found this graphic:

I -- and you West Bay folks would probably know this too -- should have known there was no way 699 Serramonte Blvd (i.e., the Jefferson Unified School District headquarters) could have been at that spot. But a selection of "schools" on Yahoo Maps (you can do it too) showed that it was correct.

So of course, once I get there, I realize my mistake: it was, as I had guessed, right smack dab in the middle of Auto Row, with car dealerships to the left and right and nothing but cemeteries further east. Could the theater be sharing space with Pier 41 Imports? Maybe behind the Toys 'R' Us? In the same building as the Spirit Halloween Superstore? I drive up and down the two big blocks about five times, realizing that the play was about to start at that point.

I pull into the Saturn dealership and ask one of the salesmen. He looks at me as if I were on crack. "It's all stores and dealerships here," he says. So I call up Verizon 411, and here's where the fates really conspire against me: they have no idea -- there's nothing named "Serramonte del Rey High School." They switch me off to the real 411, and they can't find the place either. Only an answering machine was picking up at Bindlestiff. I'm beginning to think I'm going nuts.

Desperate (not just because I want to see the play, but also because I can't believe I can't find this theater), I run through my cellphone thinking of calling people who might possibly be online on a Saturday afternoon: San Bruno, San Jose, Oakland, Brooklyn. I call the first two and they don't answer. I decide to slink back home.

At home I check Google Maps and get this:

It is so far off it's not even funny. Again, I'm kicking myself because now I realize I know exactly where it is -- and I probably would have found it if I hadn't checked Yahoo Maps just before I left. Grrr.

Alamat / Banyan.

I'm watching Bindlestiff Studio's production of "Alamat" tomorrow, and thought I should do my part promoting it.

From the Bindlestiff press release:

In commemoration of the Filipino American History Month in October, Bindlestiff Studio, the epicenter of Filipino American arts, today announced an upcoming touring theater production of writer Rodolfo Carlos Vera's Alamat (Legends), a performance project about identity, history and folklore.

The play will run for eight shows starting on
October 6-8th at El Camino Theater in South San Francisco,
October 21-22 at Serramonte del Rey Theater in Daly City and ending on
December 9-10 at the Diego River Theater of City College of San Francisco.

Directed by Louie Pascasio and performed by resident Bindlestiff Players, the play features the braided story of three different generations of Filipino men dating back to the 1904 St. Louis World Exposition in Missouri when a large group of indigenous Filipinos came to America clothed in their sacred traditions, haunting chants and pulsating beats. Alamat is a story about reclaiming one's heritage through myths and folktales waiting to be retold and reawakened.

To make reservations, please call (415) 255-0440 or email reservations@alamatlegends.com

---------
"Alamat" is presented in conjunction with community forums (the first of which I presented at, and failed to even promote on my blog):

Sacred Traditions: Aesthetics, Community and Cultural Significance.
October 28, Friday
6:30-8:30 pm
Manilatown Center (tentative venue)
848 Kearny Street @ Jackson
The forum will include an excerpt from “Alamat”, documentary on T’nalak of the T’boli and community dialogue with featured panelists, Fides Enriquez Founder of Pacific Ethnographic Research Society and others.

Globalizing Culture: Interrogating the Exoticised “Other”
November 17, Thursday
6:30-8:30 pm
1010 Mission @ 6th Street
Bayanihan Community Center
Program TBA

-----------------
And there's more:

Asian American Theater Company (AATC) presents:

BANYAN by Jeannie Barroga
A World Premiere Theatrical Production
Directed by Francis Tanglao-Aguas
Featuring Perry Aliado, Shelene Atanacio, Roberto Divina, Michael Dorado, James Lontayao, Victoria Mejia, Ryan Morales, Jose Saenz, and Vicki Zabarte.

November 3-20, 2005

BANYAN is a modern-day, multicultural variation on THE WIZARD OF OZ that incorporates Pilipino fantasy, folklore, and humor. A woman, during her 'dream vacation' to the Philippines, embarks on an allegorical adventure sprinkled with aswang (witch) tales, hostages, romance, intrigue, and 'symbolic' terrorism. Her journey through the jungles of the Philippines mirrors her dilemma over her role in a corrupt corporation's nefarious secrets in a paper shredding room.

For BANYAN tickets and more information, visit
http://www.asianamericantheater.org/productions/banyan or call 800.838.3006.

Pictures and Fragments.

1. Unfinished fragment #1, on George A. Romero's Land of the Dead:

Perhaps the most stirring scene in the film comes about two-thirds in, when the zombies shuffle their way to a construction site. In that moment, they wake from their undead slumber, the veils are lifted, and they slowly learn to pick up the scattered pieces of equipment -- a shovel, a drill, a pickaxe, and so on. I could suddenly imagine the Internationale played in the background: a perfect soundtrack for using the tools of the Working Man to dismantle the bourgeoisie -- in this case, Dennis Hopper in his high tower.

2. Unfinished fragments #2 and #3, on the whole wisdom tooth saga (this was going to be accompanied by a photograph of a bottle of Vicodin, bookended by bottles of Tylenol and Advil, and the tooth itself in a little jewel box, but never mind):

At night, with no lights, books or computer as distractions, the pain is distilled and refined; my entire mouth feels like it's been welded into some

Vicodin is my friend.

3. The Nesting Ground's nesting ground:

4. The Wily hoodie really does exist, as the V-Monster wrote (I wore it in case she couldn't recognize me):

5. Blue on blue on blue:

6. And as a way of welcoming Ktrion onto the blogroll [clap clap], a screen capture of my writing so she knows I wasn't blogging live, but taking notes at the big Ethnic Studies meeting just as she was:

7. Some really cool and exciting news: through the magic of Google Images, a graphic designer at Origin Graphic Design found this photograph which I took with a Diana about five years ago -- a statue of Catherine of Siena across the bridge from the Castel Sant'Angelo (I think). To make a long story short, it's appearing on the cover of Carol Lee Flinders' Enduring Lives, to be published by Tarcher / Penguin in spring 2006 -- which means the Wily Filipino will now become an actual published photographer! (I've seen the mockup of the cover and it looks awesome. Thank you, Amy Hayes!)

Unless I can't find the negative (ulp!) -- still tearing the batcave apart looking for it... Maybe I shouldn't be blogging about this yet...

8. Plus two longish entries still in the making, which at this rate wouldn't be ready until late December, entitled:

- "Why I Hated Bontoc Eulogy"
- "Pinoy Hiphop and Other Acts of Petty Thievery"

Please note that the titles won't precisely reflect the contents of the entries -- they're starting points on the way to a larger argument -- but some folks aren't going to like them...

Even More at Random.

1. So yesterday I discovered to my surprise that the VMonster and I had never actually met. Not once. I even stupidly insisted that we had -- "I can't believe you don't remember!" I said, chiding her -- only to be reminded that I had actually skipped out just after she did her reading at SF State. Oops. (An illusion obviously fostered by the fact that I read her blog regularly -- but that's probably the case with people I know from online.)

I'll post the pictures of Izzy and Leah and Vida and Risa and the Halloween cookies they decorated if the VMonster doesn't beat me to it. (We also ate them out of house and home -- I had the tastiest pumpkin soup, and Izzy kept coming in every few minutes asking for more food.) We had a blast; Izzy was already asking when we could schedule another playdate! (Thankfully she wasn't asking about those Polly Pockets!) Yes, I know you folks out in blogland are jealous -- just as the VMonster had predicted.

2. And the fact that the Vmonster's partner Andrew (sorry, I really had to post this) is only one degree removed from the lyrics below (a song in my 1600 Greatest Songs Of All Time, immediately recognizable by you-all who grew up in the '80s) is so cool:

Like a butterfly
A wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

(Actually the best line is in the chorus: "Who do you want me to be / To make you sleep with me?" but it doesn't have the John Fowles resonance of the butterfly lines.)

3. Two increasingly regular reads here from the mind of Gladys Nubla, which I have to re-plug: Getaway and Makeweight. I'm envious because I'd love to have blogs like these if there were more quality control over here at The Wily Filipino.

4. It's been something of a blogger weekend: saw the Gura and Tatang Retong on Saturday. Tatang's still not used to the week-old wedding ring going "ding" against tables and other hard surfaces; we also talked about the Marcoses (a favorite subject of his from way back in '95 when he would raise hell on soc.culture.filipino).

5. Which brings me to the news a bunch of people have been sending me: on the David Byrne - Fatboy Slim Imelda Marcos musical. (Casting call from July -- and more details -- here.) As you folks know I'm obsessed with Imelda -- just checked my website for the first time in months and discovered that I've had over 104,000 (!) visitors to that page -- so I'm looking forward to what will certainly be a big, fun display of intellectual camp. But I'm also apprehensive, certainly, that the depredations of the Marcos regime (and, most important, the almost total absence of any retributive justice) have now become fodder for a disco-dancin' good time. The description -- "a timeless story with more contemporary resonances than are comfortable" -- gives me hope, however.

6. And a song in my head all day: Rilo Kiley's "Portions for Foxes." "Baby you're bad news / And you're bad news / I don't care, I like you / And you're bad news / I don't care, I like you / I like you."

More at Random.

1. Sometime last month I officially became a soccer dad. (I'd post pictures, but action shots are not my forte.) Izzy's the only girl among about a dozen other boys (and I'm pretty much the only dad, at least the most regular one, among all the moms), but she's totally unfazed by this. Now she has a new vocabulary: "squishing" the ball, i.e., putting your foot on the ball to stop it (usually accompanied by pointing to the ball and shouting, "Stop right there, ball!"), the "power kick," and... I can't remember anymore. The sight of her scoring a goal is just too cool for words.

2. After receiving a completely unexpected (and totally cool) e-mail message yesterday -- more details later -- I thought I'd at least post an old picture of Izzy (and Shelby) from July here.

3. "Please take me along when you slide on down."

4. MISIA's "THE GLORY DAY" is now officially enshrined in my 1600 Greatest Songs Of All Time list.

5. I would love to have the vocabulary to write articulately and at length about watching (and teaching) Marlon Fuentes' Bontoc Eulogy (and Orson Welles' F for Fake!), but I don't.

6. And what was supposed to be a quick walk through the campus bookstore mutated into more lingering by the remainders table, and then taking advantage of a 25%-off "educator's discount" at Borders (but hey, I got some presents too):

- the fourth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm: this set includes one of the greatest CYE episodes ever, "The Car Pool Lane." Up there with "Porno Gil," "The Nanny from Hell" and "Mary, Joseph and Larry."
- Ann Satterthwaite's Going Shopping: Consumer Choices and Community Consequences (Yale U Press) (remaindered!)
- Joel Sternfeld's Stranger Passing (remaindered!)
- William Eggleston's Guide (finally!)

7. And I'll end with a lengthy quotation from Dennis Cooper, found in James Greer's Guided by Voices: A Brief History (Twenty-one Years of Hunting Accidents in the Forests of Rock and Roll) (it arrived from Amazon today, where Greer also describes GbV as "a kind of Grateful Dead for the drinking set"):

...Robert Pollard is easily one of the great rock lyricists. Personally, I think he's the greatest rock lyricist of all time, period. Actually, I think he's the greatest living artist in any medium, but that's another story. His songs are positively enjambed with an almost insanely comprehensive knowledge of what a rock song has been in the past and could be on a regular basis now if songwriters believed in rock as a form and dedicated themselves to using all of it to give fans the most startling and pleasurable experience possible in a span of thirty seconds to seven or so minutes. I can't think of another artist working with the English language (poets included) who has his appreciation of the fucked-up beauty of the lazy, accident-prone, anti-exalted way Americans speak and write.

Hands.

I've noticed that some of my favorite lines from Dave Wakeling and Company involve hands:

I held your hands
rings but none on that finger
we danced and danced
but I was scared to go much further with it

And the best use of enjambment in an '80s pop song:

Just hold my hand while I come
To a decision on it.

Meanwhile, the English Beat concert at the Red Devil Lounge last night must have been the most cramped, hottest, sweatiest, beer-spillingest concert I've been to. Loved it anyway. Poor Smoothie got crushed, Candy got beer spilled on her, and when the band broke into "Tears of a Clown" and these middle-aged guys started moshing right in front of me, I saw D-Dog take his arms from around Candy and angrily shove one of the guys right smack into another. Lucky he didn't get ejected. (Dave said, "Gents, watch out for the ladies!") But really, you can't lose with a set that combines the best of the first and third albums (with a couple of dips into All the Rage, of course).

Jealous, Etc.

1. So my plan was to dance with the Poeta and the Blue Kangaroo and the Chatelaine and I was going to write, a la the VMonster: Uh-huh. I know you're jealous.

2. Didn't happen though -- a guy can dream, can't he? But I ended up dancing with the Poeta anyway. Jeh-heh-lous. (Nothing slinky, Bronx Guy; more like "YMCA!")

3. And I bet you've never seen the bride -- who looked gorgeous -- get into a knife-fight at her own wedding before. In her wedding dress, no less!

4. And later on this afternoon: Izzy! Wallace! Gromit! You know you wanna be there.

5. And later on this evening: D-Dog, G-Dog, Seanny Depp, Smoothie, and Dave Wakeling live. Now I know you're really jealous.

And miscellaneous items:

6. Otis Redding understands.

7. Wrote a blurb for the Chatelaine's really fun latest project.

8. Motorhead's "I'll Be Your Sister" is one of the 1600 greatest songs of all time.

9. Props from the Poeta.

10. Unagi wappa with Dorothy.

11. Tenure files closed on Friday; I can kind of breathe again, for now.

Stories High.

I'd be terribly remiss if I didn't post a short blurb on Stories High, a series of short plays on its (unfortunately) last weekend at the fab Bindlestiff Studio. If the cast and crew could bottle the energy and enthusiasm in the tiny 'stiff space (the first night) and sell it, they'd be raking it in (with Kanye West stealing Max Romeo for Jay-Z on the soundtrack).

At the core of these six fine plays are the middle three. (The first, alas, is exactly what you'd get if you threw a bunch of unbearable stoner spoken-word macktivists in a room, Abigail's Party-style -- or better, No Exit.) Play number 3 -- the tense and well-acted "Borders," written by Conrad Panganiban -- nicely pulls the carpet from underneath the audience; the real trick here is not the dialogue, but the way the subdued emotional content of the acting suddenly makes a sharp, effective pivot into creepy territory. (It's also preceded by a romantic comedy of errors, which lulls the viewers into foolish complacency.) "The Rub," written by Ed Mabasa, while stretched out maybe a little too long, is pitch-perfect noir using the barest of essentials: gun molls, a McGuffin, a worn-out gumshoe, and best of all, dialogue that positively crackles with electricity.

Conceptually, the best of the lot was "Final Purification," written by Anton Delfino, which -- again, the sequencing is perfect, since it follows "The Rub" -- begins with a familiar sight: a bare table, a handcuffed prisoner (in this case, my former student Lyle Prijoles), a lamp swinging overhead. But I won't spoil the excellent Law and Order setup here; it's enough to say that it's devilish fun.

Stories High ends on a high farcical note with "Lucy's Kitchen and Alex's Garage," which can't exactly be described well, except that it involves The Honeymooners, eczema, two bobble-head figures (one is actually alive, but you'd have to watch it for yourself), Grease, a pair of Nikes, peppercorns in adobo, an unlikely suitor (in this case, my former student Paolo Silvestre, whose knack for singing and dancing I had no idea lurked within him), the sad lives of eBayers, and the Barrel Man. I can't evaluate the dialogue that well, I'm afraid; I couldn't hear all of it since the audience (and I) were breaking down in laughter.

eBay Psycho.

Ugh. I'm dealing with some psycho on eBay, and it's consuming more of my time than I want.

So today -- I had received one of those automatic email search results from eBay, and despite the fact that I try not to trawl eBay anymore -- I bid on this doll set and a signed CD for Izzy. I was outbid on my first try, and I thought I'd try again (raising it by $5). Still outbid. Oh well.

A couple minutes later I bid on a similar item (without the signed CD), and finally I was the highest bidder. (Coincidentally, though I didn't notice it at the time, the person I had outbid was the highest bidder on the doll/CD auction.) So far so good.

Then a few minutes later I get the following two barely-literate email messages, one after the other:

At 36.00 start withdrawing or I will report! I am NOT paying this much for something you think your winning both of? Your a criminal! I will have the whole damn internet bidding on the both of these crappy deals! Self=fish

And:

Ok So do you have to bid on BOTH of them??? One is going to be my son's birthday present I prefer this one to be his present the one with the signed cd! So please decide which one you want to bid on and quit shilling or I will report to eBay. They are watching right now and the seller may loose their privledges as this really looks bad! I promise! It is people like you that make people that have 900 possitives and REPEAT BUYING RECORD (like ME) look bad. So which will it be? Either choose you can't bid on both!!! Withdraw on one or loose both! Get it? PISSED!@ a shill bidder! copy sent to SafeHarbor

(The said eBayer actually only had 424 positives.)

So I write eBay Psycho back, in response to "Withdraw on one or loose both!":

You're kidding, right? I have no intention of withdrawing any of my bids -- I have never done that in my life; I legimately wanted the item at the price I wanted, but lucky you -- you overbid me.

If you don't really want to pay that much, perhaps you shouldn't have bid that high in the first place. Sorry.

And as a response to the accusation that I was a shill:

Please calm down. I am not a shill bidder -- never have, never will be.

I have every right to bid on both -- you already overbid me fair and square on the one with the signed CD! What right do you have to tell me not to bid on the other one?

An hour later I get the following response:

You are very right Wily. I just don't want either of us to be in trouble ok? I mean the worst that ebay will do is cancel the item and neither of us will get it and that is dumb huh? I promise I won't bother yours and you don't bother mine ok? :-) I am sorry that I out bid you but if it were not for my daughters birthday I usually just say enjoy:-) So I am not trying to be mean or anything ok? Please have a better day I promise I will -take care.

I notice that eBay Psycho's child's sex has changed, but whatever... I thought everything was cool. S/he was the highest bidder on the doll set with the signed CD; I was the highest bidder on the doll set without the CD.

Then a few hours later, I'm outbid on the doll set by eBay Psycho -- which makes her/him the highest bidder on both items. Oh well.

But then I receive the following message right afterwards:

You are still bidding against me even though you said you would not...you just wanted one. Right Dog! Did it ever occur to you I don't want to pay 50 or 100 dollars on these? BUT I WILL!?? THEN MAKE YOU EAT BOTH OF THEM :-) I warned you once so I will feel free to bid on booth too. And you could have had them all to yourself...much cheaper than what I have to pay already without you sneaking up more!!! Your NASTY! AND you give eBayers a bad name...one I won't forget soon. :-)

Somehow eBay Psycho forgot that when s/he wrote me I had already bid on both; it's already acknowledged above in her/his messages! In fact, the most recent message is moot because s/he has already outbid me on both items! (The only way I'd end up "EAT(ing) BOTH OF THEM" is if eBay Psycho withdraws her/his bids at the last minute -- but I'd still win the auction(s) at the last price I bid. And I do know someone who might want the other doll set.)

I'm looking at the bid history right now and eBay Psycho has bid on the same item eleven times! (I of course had only bid twice.)

I'll keep you folks posted on this silly saga... 20 hours to go for one, 4 days for the other... I suppose I could try to outbid this eBay Psycho on the other item, but it's already too expensive at this point (what drove the price up for the first item was the signed CD).

Today, Part 2.

Or Sunday, rather. Saw the following folks on Day #2 of the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival:

- the first half of Eliza Gilkyson's set
- The Be Good Tanyas (excellent)
- Th' Legendary Shack Shakers (awesome spastic rockabilly hardcore)
- the second half of Rykarda Parasol's set (exploring the blues dirge / murder ballad / goth connection -- with great clothes too, like they stepped out of Dame Darcy's Meatcake comic book)
- the first half of Guy Clark's set
- the second half of J.D. Crowe and The New South's set

- Laura Cantrell (yes, my current musician crush. Oddly sparsely attended, so I snuck off near the front row again. Excellent, like the last time I saw her)
- the first half of Dolly Parton's set (!) (I could barely see -- though I caught glimpses of her in a bright powder-blue suit and a similarly-colored rhinestone-studded guitar -- but you can't beat the opening combo of "9 to 5" / "Jolene" / "Crimson and Clover" / "Me and Bobby McGee" / "My Tennessee Mountain Home" / "Coat of Many Colors." And she was funny too -- the hundreds of people at her stage were eating out of her hand...)
- the first half of Emmylou Harris's set (played with Buddy Miller! I was drinking Miller Lites with Special K and 40 though, so I wasn't paying much attention)

Today.

Played hooky for the first time in a long time (except for the good plays at Bindlestiff the other night with J-Lu), and saw the following folks today at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival (for free!):

- Chip Taylor and Carrie Rodriguez (definitely checking out their CDs -- hot stuff)
- the first half of Patty Griffin's set (hers too)

- Toshio Hirano (someone get this man into a studio!)
- the first half of the Del McCoury Band's set
- Joan Baez and Steve Earle singing "Jerusalem"
- the second half of the Dry Branch Fire Squad's set
- Buddy Miller (with Emmylou Harris guesting on two songs!)

- The Knitters (basically, X and bassist Johnny Ray Bartel -- totally cool just to see Exene Cervenka and John Doe hamming it up, plus Dave Alvin shredding on lead guitar)
- Gillian Welch and David Rawlings (amazing, obviously; and yes, he sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" -- and she sang "White Rabbit!")
- the second half of Los Super Seven's set (basically Calexico, Joe Ely and Raul Malo -- excellent as well)

As you can imagine, my mind is still blown from all this incredible music! Tomorrow will be even more packed...